As I sat at my computer this morning messaging with a friend some words came out of me that caught me off guard. My eyes stung with warm tears as I realized how truly blessed I am again. Wow! What is it about us as women and mothers?! We are so hard on ourselves. We dismiss all the great things we are doing and accomplishing because it doesn’t match up to this ideal we have in our head or we haven’t accomplished everything on our to do list. Let’s face it that to do list is never going away! It only continues to grow!
Lately I’ve been feeling really down on myself. My children are growing so fast and while I am present I am not present as I would like since I work full time from home with them around me all day. My mind has been wandering to the future and what age my children will be when I am finally able to stop working. I’ve been focused on how hard it is to work and balance my kids and how unfair it is that I have to work at all. Which when I feel this way I feel even worse as I know I am so fortunate to provide for my family.
As I was talking with my friend about schooling for my kids and where we hope to live some day after my husband is out of school some words came out that just opened my eyes again. I said there is a time and a season for everything! How blessed I am that for this small season I am able to provide for my family. How blessed I am that for this small season my son is going to a preschool that specializes in his needs to help him learn! How blessed I am that I have access to a speech therapist for my oldest daughter to teach her and me how to help her to speak! How blessed I am to be able to watch my children each day albeit sometimes more on the sidelines but I am not missing out on words being spoken, hugs being given, the ABC song being sung, Lego towers being built, or moments of cuddles in the middle of the day.
There will be a time and a season for me to be more fully devoted to my children. There will be a time and a season for my house to be perfectly clean. There will be a time and season where I can accomplish more on that to do list. Our lives are made of times and seasons some are longer than others and some are fleeting. They never feel fleeting in the moment though as we are bogged down with the weight of the world upon us. But who wants us to feel like this moment will never pass? Who wants us to think about what we are missing out on? Satan does. He wants us to be miserable in this life and in the life to come just like he is. But I don’t want to be miserable! I want to open my eyes and see the blessings that are pouring down from Heaven upon me.
I am so grateful for this season I have to be a mother! It is hard! It is challenging! But it is worth! My children are worth it!
Ecclesiastes Chapter 3:1-8To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.