Addiction is Destructive

I stayed up until 2:15am finishing Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer, book #3 in the Twilight series. Jared asked me politely to come to bed and to avoid his look of disdain I quickly threw my book mark into my place and jumped off my chair in the living room and followed him back to our bedroom for family prayer. We finished getting ready for bed and went to bed. I laid there with my book close by with the flashlight next to it on the pile of clean laundry. I waited briefly for Jared to roll over and start to breathe heavy indicating he was asleep. The anticipation of finding out what happened next was excruciating to me to say the least. Jared didn't roll over like he normally did but his breathing pattern was deep and heavy. I moved ever so gently to my side and reached out for my book longingly. I turned on the flashlight and set it up by my neck and opened my book. Any time Jared moved or made a sound like he was waking I quickly covered the light so that it was dark again. I would wait frozen my lungs wanting to breathe. Jared would start breathing deep again and I would go back to reading.

I had a couple hundred pages until I finished the book and I kept telling myself after this chapter I would stop but the chapters lead so perfectly into the next that I couldn't. I had to know what was going to happen next. I knew it was getting late and even though I could feel the exhaustion in my eyes my body was wide awake wanting to know what happened next. I came to the end of the book and was just so thrilled and wanted to know more. I debated getting up and going to get the last book and just reading the first few chapters. As I laid there debating I knew it had to be really late. I had read several chapters and none of them are particularly short.

I sat up and looked at the time 2:15am! I was going to be so exhausted in the morning. I had reset my alarm for 5:20 instead of 4:55 to give myself just a bit more time. It was hard to fall asleep. I can't describe how much I am infatuated with the world of Twilight. It makes me laugh so much and I feel like every time I close the book I've put their world on pause.

In the morning when I woke Jared asked me how late I had stayed up reading. I didn't answer I knew he would disapprove. A few moments passed and he asked again and started guessing. 1am? No! 2am? No! 2:30am? No! Am I going in the right direction? Yes and no! 2:15am? Yes! I don't remember looking at him but I could feel the reproach in his eyes. He threatened to take my book from me until Saturday. My heart lurched...NO! I quickly said I finished that book and then got up.

After getting ready for work I walked out into the living room earlier then usual for sleeping in. I was putting my book away and was going to grab the next one when I noticed it was missing. I started to casually look around while making breakfast and lunches. Jared came out and said "I love you!" I didn't respond. "Are you mad at me?" "No, I just find it ridiculous that you took my book." Jared countered, "I find it ridiculous that you stayed up until 2:30am reading!" I didn't respond, he went on saying "Addiction is destructive and you are being self destructive!" I am not I thought to myself. He continued "You don't do anything but read, you've not been sleeping like you should." I said, "I'm a grown woman and am able to make my own decisions." He went and got my book and said "I took it to make a point."

I was so glad to have my book back. I did not care what the point was. The sooner I finished reading these books the sooner I would be back to normal right? Yet my heart feels heavy at the idea of it ever ending.